"Repentance- A Joyful Choice"- March 26, 2017

Hiker L. gave our lesson today based on the talk "Repentance: A Joyful Choice" given at October 2016 General Conference by Elder Renlund

"The fact that we can repent is the good news of the gospel" (Elder Renlund)

Elder Renlund shared this in his talk: "The Christian writer C. S. Lewis wrote about the need and the method for change. He noted that repentance involves “being put back on the right road. A wrong sum can be put right,” he said, “but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on.”6 Changing our behavior and returning to the “right road” are part of repentance, but only part. Real repentance also includes a turning of our heart and will to God and a renunciation of sin" 

Little things can slowly lead us farther and farther away from where we need to be. If we do not correct our course and repent of even little things, we can soon become way off course. 

"Real repentance must involve faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith that He can change us, faith that He can forgive us, and faith that He will help us avoid more mistakes. This kind of faith makes His Atonement effective in our lives. When we “perceive afterwards” and “turn around” with the Savior’s help, we can feel hope in His promises and the joy of forgiveness. Without the Redeemer, the inherent hope and joy evaporate, and repentance becomes simply miserable behavior modification." (Elder Renlund)

Elder Renlund also quoted President Boyd K. Packer in his talk "The Atonement leaves no tracks, no traces. What it fixes is fixed. … It just heals, and what it heals stays healed.” (quote taken from Pres. Packers April 2015 conference talk)

To accept the atonement and repent is a choice. What keeps us from repenting? Some ideas:

-Distractions. Remember to try to turn away from the bad and towards God

-Pride, lack of humility

-Blaming others

-Excusing ourselves because we think it is "just part of our personality." We can change even things about ourselves that we think are part of our personality. 

-Lack of faith

Hikari challenged us to take some time to purposely be thankful for Christ and the atonement when we repent. 

Parenting Series Notes 3/21: Spirituality in the home: how to effectively foster an environment of spiritual growth where it matters the most

How do our children love and care for each other?

Scripture study:

• consistency is most important - when doesn't matter just do it
• little kids: taught them how to read from scriptures
• have each family member read 1 verse
• no power struggles - give them the option but don't make them do it
• ask questions and help them think about it
• get together with other families and talk about what works and what doesn't work

Family Home Evening:

• 3 pillars (Taylors):
• Love - memories glue each other
• Structure - we are members of the church and will do what the church offers (seminary, activities) - you never know when some other persons might say something and change them forever
• Fun - always have something fun for FHE in addition to the spiritual message.
• Start with a prayer and end with a prayer. No matter what you are doing, call it FHE.
• Activities don’t just happen. It takes planning.
• Idea (Sara G.): introduce each person every FHE and give them a cheer
• FHE chart with assignments (song, prayer, lesson, activity, refreshment, joke):
• kids like to feel like they are apart of things with responsibilities
• keep kids involved by showering with love and getting them involved quickly in the lesson/activity
• Have kids take turns giving lessons from when they are young
• Prep kids ahead of time for FHE
• talk about what you are going to do - a great memory can come from anticipation for an activity and then end with talking about how great the activity was to end on a positive note

Other spiritual questions/ideas:

• Teach kids the hymns. They will remember them forever
• Figure out as a family what you want to stand for - have everyone contribute ideas and live by those things
• Review family motto often
• How did you help prepare for kids mission?
• One-on-one scripture reading between parent and teenager before they went to work

Some FHE ideas (Thomanders):

• Lessons:
• Scriptures: pick a chapter, read aloud around the circle and discuss as you go
• Family Home Evening manuals
• Nursery Manual
• Talks and lessons given or will be given at church
• Gospel Art Picture Kit
• Church publications: everyone chooses something to browse for 0 mins, then shares with group
• Activities for Monday Nights:
• Watch home movies and eat popcorn
• Talent night with other families
• Goal setting in Sept. or Jan. - video and watch one year later
• Learn new skills: manners - get video at library, do skits
• Write testimonies in Book of Mormon, wrap it up and give to a neighbor
• Invite RM for dinner who served in a foreign country, serve native food, learn some words, hear faith promoting story
• Crafts: make place cards for an upcoming holiday or company dinner
• Brazilian BBQ - lots of different meats and eat around fire with sticks
• Fireplace cooking - foil dinners, s’mores
• Make your own pizza: dough and toppings. Have lesson while its baking
• Group dinner: decide on a menu together and have everyone make one things, give generous praise
• singing : a cappella, or with instruments - piano, guitar, funky instruments like kazoos: hymns, primary songs, camp songs, song books
• Dance: put music on and everyone dance - dad and mom start
• Scrapbooking: everyone work together to update pictures into books
• journal/family history: choose a subject for everyone to write about to include in their scrapbooks
• Games
• Inside Group Games -Charades, heads up - 7up, board games, card games
• Name that tune - everyone choose a primary song or hymn, sing 3 notes, keep adding a note till it’s guessed
• Outside Group Games:
• Steal the bacon
• Mother May I
• Kick the Can
• Red Rover
• Not it
• Sardines
• Puzzles
• Excursions:
• City council and gelato
• Library
• Genealogy library
• Church gym: broom hockey, soccer, bball
• Ice skating
• Picnics in the park
• Scavenger hunt in the neighborhood
• Service:
• 30 min cleaning blitz for someone in need: new mother, shut-in
• Pulling weeds, mowing lawn for your home teacher
• Picking up litter
• Drop off cookies - ring doorbell and run
• Summertime:
• Meals on wheels - progressive dinner on bikes with 1-2 families
• Take train to Castro MT View south or Menlo Park - get out and explore
• Slumber party - all sleep together in tent/tramp in yard, build a fire and tell stories
• baseball/football in park/school, vball at Gunn with other families
• Mini golf, bowling, roller skating
• Foothills Park: hike, boat, fish, picnic
• Bike/drive to Gamble Gardens - look at veggies and flowers, bring picnic and dessert
• Bike on stanford campus, visit the tower
• Bike at shoreline
• Movie at stanford theatre
• Santa Cruz Boardwalk
• Half Moon Bay: bike/hike the spectacular trail along the cliff edge
• San Francisco: Land’s End Hike - start at Sutra Baths
• Golden Gate Park - playground, carousel
• Holidays
• Pumpkin and Christmas Carol - homemade donuts with toppings
• Make gingerbread houses out of graham crackers and lots of candy choices
• Blindfold kids, take them in car to see Santa or some winter wonderland delight
• Christmas on a Monday: Serve dinner at Glide Memorial Church to homeless (call ahead to reserve

Parenting Series Notes 3/14: Toddler troubles: Helpful hints for dealing with potty training, eating and sleep issues, tantrums and other battles

“You do not have to make your children into wonderful people. You only have to remind them that they are wonderful people. If you do this consistently from the day they are born they will believe it easily.”

We watched a film clip from The Miracle Worker when Helen Keller throws an endless and exhausting tantrum at dinner but Anne Sullivan did not give in to the poor behavior and after much effort, she taught Helen Keller how to sit and eat with a fork and fold a napkin.

Points to Remember as a parent:

• Repetition doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. You'll have to keep teaching. There is no single point of arrival. As soon as a problem will resolve itself another will come.

• Toddlers shouldn't get a bad wrap.
• Supposed to test limits and explore
• Goal: don’t put them in a rigid box

• Kids come with strong God-given personalities
• Kids are like orange juice concentrate - you have to keep stirring and adding water until the become sweet and well-balanced.
• Kids sense your energy. Stay in control - always evoke calm, assertive energy

WHAT TODDLERS NEED: Love Routine Consistency Repetition Praise Discipline Assurance

WHAT PARENTS NEED: Time Commitment Energy Patience Persistence Perspective

Things to think about and discuss with your partner:

• What qualities do we want our children to possess?
• How do we want it to feel in our home?
• What rules/expectations of behavior should we have for our children that will reflect our family culture and values?
• Brainstorm consequences, positive reinforcement techniques:
• Do some detective work:  When do you notice tantrums occurring the most?  What chronic naughty behavior do you want to tame?  What changes can you make in the environment to help your child make good choices?

Sleep:

• 1-3 year-olds need 12-14 hours
• 3-5 year-olds need 11-13 hours
• 5-10 year-olds need 10-11 hours
• 10-17 year-olds need 8.5-9.25 hours

Eating:

• Limit options - don't offer everything but serve a variety of healthy options
• Do your best to have the kids sit at the table to eat
• Calm/assertive - kitchen is the parent’s territory

Boundaries and discipline:

• Be a detective when kids are acting up. Evaluate and fine tune. Find out:
• have they eaten?
• Have the slept well?
• What friends have they been with?
• What show have they watched?
• Be consistent
• Get down on eye level to speak with children
• Use clear language when speaking and disciplining
• Don’t use a high voice
• Time outs
• Good rule of thumb is 1 minute per age of child
• Bedroom is typically not the best place for time out
• Kids should not be happy in time out
• Don’t start the time out until they have calmed down

Time out (minute per age, not in their room) - shouldn't be happy in time out - don't start time until they calm down - sand timers

Suzi and Gordon’s tips and tricks:

• Try again
• Mama’s hands are busy
• 54321
• One or none
• The happy way or the sad way
• Don’t ask yes or no questions when the child doesn’t have a choice
• Don’t lie (“monster spray”, “I’m going to leave without you”)
• Positive reinforcement as much as possible
• It’s okay to be shy, it’s not okay to be rude
• Portable consequences/time outs
• Don’t be embarrassed: you are a disciplined parent and are doing the right thing!
• Try not to compare:  have compassion for yourself and for your toddler
• Use detective work to help refine/readjust your child’s routine
• Find a village of people who can support you/self care
• Model respectful language between parent/child, child/sibling
• TEAMWORK
• CONSISTENCY
• Disciplined parent = disciplined child

References:

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

* How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen:  A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber and Julie King

1-2-3 Magic:  3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting by Thomas Phelan

Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child:  The Heart of Parentingby John Gottman, Ph.D., Joan Declaire, and Daniel Goleman

The Explosive Child:  A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.

Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child by  Kathraina Manassis, M.D.

Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions:  Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Help Your Child Regulate Emotional Outbursts and Aggressive Behavior by Pat Harvey and Jeanine Penzo

Loving Solutions:  A Parent’s Guide to Raising Tough Kids, ages 5-10 Years by Ralph “Bud” Fry and Dr. Roger H. Morgan

Parent Education Classes at Children’s Health Council: chconline.org

* Haven’t read, so cannot personally recommend, but it might be worth checking out..