A. started off the class by asking, “How are you doing?” Many would have responded “Ok” or Fine” but those are not emotions.
Feeling emotions:
- Speaking the words we are feeling is calming. There are many more emotions than just happy and sad. Pinpointing our emotions is important.
- Emotion lasts 8 seconds. If the emotion lasts longer than 8 seconds then something needs to be attended to. Emotions signal something is going on within just like pain signals something is wrong.
- If your emotion could say something, what would they say? We need to increase our awareness of emotions.
Kaleidoscope of Emotions:
We have 12000-50000 thoughts a day but 95% of the thoughts we have are the same.
Remember sadness or anger aren’t bad. Imagine a game of tug-of-war. People are barely moving but they are sweating and working so hard. We often do the same thing with our own emotions. We feel a certain way but then tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel that way so we try to battle it. Be ok to accept what you are feeling.
We want our kids to have feelings. Be what they are and give them tools to soothe themselves.
By noticing and pinpointing an emotion, you create space. That space is awareness and you have a choice. You might not know what to do but you can pinpoint you are feeling something. Actually noticing the emotion is not an emotion itself so you can then start to cope with it.
John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” The Greatest of All felt emotions and it shows us it's ok to feel.
Tears are part of the process. It's good to let ourselves cry.
Grief is specific:
- Related to an event - loss
- Openly angry
- Can experience enjoyment
- Transient physical complaints
- Specific guilt
- Exhibits feels of sadness and emptiness
Depression:
- Not related to specific event
- Irritable and may complain. It doesn't express anger
- All pervading sense of doom
- Chronic physical complaints
- Generalized feelings of guilt
- Projects sense of hopelessness
Clinical depression: 5 or more of the following
- depressed most of the day nearly every day
- marked change - diminished interest
- significant weight loss or gain
- insomnia or hyposomnia
- fatigue or loss of energy
- feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
- can't think or concentrate
Mindfulness: see clearly - how we pay attention and why
Your thoughts actions and attitude account for 40% of happiness. 50% is just our personality.
Self-care:
- don't vent your anger (lash out)
- exercise
- go to church
- don't watch porn/abuse alcohol - affect hedonic (point of happiness) point the most
- spend time socializing
- wake up with the sun
- laugh
- meditate - Buddy breathing with kids
- spend money on others
- gratitude- 5 min gratitude journal every day makes a big difference
You can't change your thoughts but try to add to them. Practice thinking things that have hope.
“Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.” - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
