Sunday, July 10th Lesson #36- The Family Can Be Eternal by Julie C.

From The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

The Family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His Children.

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of:

• Faith
• Prayer
• Repentance
  
• Forgiveness
• Respect
• Love
• Compassion
• Work
• Wholesome recreational activities

This lesson is not intended to make anyone feel bad. We all come from different situations and not all have what is considered the "ideal family." Hopefully each of us can use the tools of the gospel to help us improve whatever situation might be ours.

There is sometimes a chasm between the eternal potential of families and the reality of our own family. We need to remember that Heavenly Father is merciful, loving and wants us to return to Him. You are a child of God and part of His family. He can help you improve your family and make it successful in whatever form it may be in.

We should remember that we determine our own destiny. We are not saved based on decisions that our spouses or children make. We choose how we will live.

"I believe that the best place to prepare for ... eternal life is in the home."

-President David O. McKay

Why is the home so important in preparing us for our eternal lives?

• It is a small group where we can best give the individual attention children need to learn important lessons.
• We must learn to live with, love and forgive people because they will always be our family. We may change our friends or roommates, but we can't change our family.
• Though we often have friction and conflict, most of time we are still loved and forgiven. Through this, we learn to be more like Heavenly Father.

How can we help our youth learn the sacredness of families and the importance of the marriage covenant?

• We can speak to our children with compassion about other family/extended family members who may be difficult to live with, rather than gossiping or criticizing.
• Spouses can speak with kindness and patience to each other, which helps create a "haven of peace" in the home. Children observe when their parents or friends' parents are in conflict.
• Recognize that the children look at other marriages outside of just their parents to see what they admire. We can all set an example for them.
• The temple covenants and ceremonies teach us of our individual worth and purpose. The messages there counteract the messages we often hear elsewhere about our worth. The youth should be taught these positive messages about their worth and purpose as children of God.

How can you help your home to have more harmony?

• Get enough sleep, eat well. Make sure your basic needs and your children's basic needs are met. When these are not met we tend to not be as nice to each other.
• Say a prayer for people in your family that may be bothering you. It helps to remember that they are often having a hard time.
• There is a benefit to having patience and being forgetful. Despite the natural conflict that comes with most families, over time we usually still love each other and forget about it.
• We can sing uplifting songs during difficult times. (ex. "Choose the Right" when children are struggling to make decisions)
• Keep children separated when they are having a hard time getting along.
• Teach your children in simple terms that Satan wants us to be selfish and mean. Jesus wants us to be kind and share.

What do you do to foster prayer and repentance?

• Have compassion for everyone. Julie worked at a mental health agency with children with behavioral problems. It was helpful to realize that their parents came from difficult circumstances, sometimes for generations back. We should have compassion for everyone as we don't always know their circumstances.
• Try to be the best example you can. If your own family is struggling, help your children to find examples and role models from church or other families. try to be positive and let children know that the family difficulties will improve with time.
• Apologize to your children. This helps them learn to apologize to each other and recognize when they've done something wrong. You also realize how quick children are to forgive you, which helps you be quick to forgive them.

Julie encouraged us to look over the list of principles of successful families and write down any specific ways that come to mind that we can strengthen our families.