There were 4 topics of discussion
1) The stake presidency loves us
2) They want to tell us (the women) what they are telling the men in the stake
3) Discuss a few observations about women in the stake
4) The stake presidency wants our feedback. Q&A
1) The stake presidency loves us
- This is a topic of Infinite expanse. We are women of different backgrounds, goals and life challenges.
- The stake presidency wants to love us and support us. They acknowledge that women in our stake don't get enough help
2) What are they telling the men?
- Understanding priorities
- First- wife, second- children, third- employer, fourth- church
- They want all families to eat dinner together every night
- Do whatever it takes to eat dinner together every night – we believe this practice has welding power for families.
- We, of the stake presidency, don’t want ANY church activities scheduled anytime between 5-7 p.m.
- Read to children (together with wife)
- This should be a regular part of the rhythm of life, that reading together becomes a regular family activity.
- Private things should be between you (couple) and the Lord
- The way you carve out roles and responsibilities between husband and wife is a private matter.
- Stake presidency will never prescribe how it is done
- ie: how your organize around your priorities, how you raise your children, when you conceive your children, what kind of employ you accept is completely up to you/your spouse/God.
- Both men and women are nurturers
- All men should feel like they are nurturers of children
- Men are capable of nurturing- they are encouraged to seek and acquire virtues.
- Unity is the crowning virtue in the home
- All husbands and wife should be truly unified
- reference: John 16&17, pray they will be one(as the father and son are one)
3) A few observations about the woman
- A lot of the women don't think they are good enough
- The stake presidency loves us the way we are, they wish we would feel more secure
- Message: we think you are MORE than sufficient.
- They have observed that the women seem to be more prone to insecurities
-
For example: women will see something in another women. But instead of celebrating this talent, she will see this as something as her own inadequacy.
- Message: We wish you would feel more secure.
- We are under stress
- Message: The way you prioritize your life is between us and lord (have confidence in life choices
- Worst place to turn is to society.
- We don't get enough help
- Message: This grieves us. We’re trying to talk to the men about this. We’re trying to work on this.
- We are prone to depression
- Depression doesn't need reason and doesn't require explanation
- Message: They understand this and are anxious to be providing love and tenderness for those battling these issues
- Reference: Elder Hollands talk in October 2013 conference
- We should talk about this, not whisper about it
- Society tells terrible lies about women
- Suspect this is grievous to the The Lord
- Message: Stake presidency acknowledges this and doesn't want the women in stake comparing themselves to impossible standards
- Find confirmation of own worth from The Lord.
- We make long checklists
- Checklists stress us out
- See if you can make a shorter check list
- Be strategic about how to use time
- Message: They think we do enough... Think about being instead of doing
4) Q&A
- Q. How do you not stress out about callings?
- A: Is this the right calling for me right now in my life?
- Cycle is completed when you confirm this calling is right for you with the Lord
- Q. How do you build spirituality in a marriage? (Deserves lesson of own)
- A: The wonderful thing about marriage is that we’re completely incompatible --- no one has the same spiritual DNA; wonderful thing about marriage is that is a school. Have to figure out how to build. Sometime it requires recognizing the differences and celebrating them. It is so important to have dialog – if your lips are moving that’s a great sign. If the partners go silent, then something fundamental has happened and surgery is required.
The Gospel is not a club to beat ourselves with,
but a pillow we lay our head
This poem reflects how the stake presidency feels about you.
Love bade me welcome; yet my soul
drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me
grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly
questioning
If I lacked anything.
“A guest,” I answered, “Worthy to
be here.”
Love said, “You shall be he.”
“I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah my dear,
I cannot look on Thee.”
Love took my hand, and smiling,
did reply,
“Who made the eyes but I?”
“Truth, Lord, but I have marred
them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.”
“And know you not,” says Love,
“who bore the blame?”
“My dear, then I will serve.”
“You must sit down,” says Love,
“and taste my meat.”
So I did sit and eat.
George Herbert
1593-1633
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