"Learn from Alma and Amulek" - January 22, 2017

Hikari directed the discussion through the talk "Learn from Alma and Amulek" by President Uchtdorf from the October General Conference.

Every citizen of the Nephite nation must have known Alma’s story. The Twitters, Instagrams, and Facebooks of his day would have been filled with images and stories about him. He probably appeared regularly on the cover of the Zarahemla Weekly and was the subject of editorials and network specials. In short, he was perhaps the most well-known celebrity of his day.

But when Alma saw that his people were forgetting God and lifting themselves up in pride and contention, he chose to resign from public office and dedicate himself “wholly to the high priesthood of the holy order of God,”³ preaching repentance among the Nephites.

• What can I learn from Alma?

 Perhaps we think that we can do the work better by ourselves, or we are reluctant to inconvenience others, or we assume that others would not want to participate. Too often we hesitate to invite people to use their God-given talents and engage in the great work of salvation.

Think of the Savior—did He begin to establish His Church all alone?

No.

His message was not “Stand back. I’ll handle this.” Rather it was “Come, follow me.”⁹ He inspired, invited, instructed, and then trusted His followers “to do the things which ye have seen me do.”¹⁰ In this way, Jesus Christ built up not only His Church but also His servants.

In whatever position you currently serve... —to be successful, you must find your Amuleks.

It may be someone who is unassuming or even invisible within your congregations. It may be someone who seems unwilling or unable to serve. Your Amuleks may be young or old, men or women, inexperienced, tired, or not active in the Church. But what may not be seen at first sight is that they are hoping to hear from you the words “The Lord needs you! I need you!”

While some of us should be looking for an Amulek, for others the question might be “How am I like Amulek?”

• How am I like Amulek?

Perhaps you have, over the years, become less committed in your discipleship. Perhaps the fire of your testimony has dimmed. Perhaps you have distanced yourself from the body of Christ. Perhaps you have become disillusioned or even angry. Like some of the ancient Church of Ephesus, you may have left your “first love”¹²—the sublime, eternal truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Perhaps, like Amulek, you know in your heart that the Lord has “called [you] many times,” but you “would not hear.”

...my dear friends, let us seek out, find, inspire, and rely upon the Amuleks in our wards and stakes. There are many Amuleks in the Church today.

Perhaps you know one. Perhaps you are one.

Perhaps the Lord has been whispering to you, urging you to return to your first love, contribute your talents, worthily exercise the priesthood, and serve side by side with your fellow Saints in drawing closer to Jesus Christ and building the kingdom of God here on earth.

Our beloved Savior knows where you are. He knows your heart. He wants to rescue you. He will reach out to you. Just open your heart to Him. It is my hope that those who have strayed from the path of discipleship—even by only a few degrees—will contemplate the goodness and grace of God, see with their hearts, learn from Alma and Amulek, and hear the life-changing words of the Savior: “Come, follow me.”

 Hikari encouraged us to do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone that engages you more in the Gospel.

Walking the Savior's Path of Charity

Alison F. lead discussion around the lesson in Chapter 20: Walking the Savior’s Path of Charity of the Howard W. Hunter manual.

The touchstone of compassion is a measure of our discipleship; it is a measure of our love for God and for one another. (Chapter 20: Walking the Savior’s Path of Charity)

• How does your love of God fuel your charity toward others?

An old axiom states that a man “all wrapped up in himself makes a small bundle.” Love has a certain way of making a small bundle large. The key is to love our neighbor, including the neighbor that is difficult to love. We need to remember that though we make our friends, God has made our neighbors—everywhere. Love should have no boundary; we should have no narrow loyalties. Christ said, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?” (Matthew 5:46). (Chapter 20: Walking the Savior’s Path of Charity)

• How can we increase our love for neighbors who may be “difficult to love”?
  How was your heart changed or what blessing followed?
  Have you at times been "difficult to love"?

"These two virtues, love and service, are required of us if we are to be good neighbors and find peace in our lives." (Chapter 20: Walking the Savior’s Path of Charity)

• Do you remember a time when you felt love from someone who made you a priority by listening to you and sharing a topical experience from their life?
• What is your favorite scripture that shows how the Savior did this?

(The gospel of Jesus Christ) provides the only way the world will ever know peace. We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us. (Chapter 20: Walking the Savior’s Path of Charity)

President Joseph Smith

“If we would secure and cultivate the love of others, we must love others, even our enemies as well as friends. … Christians should cease wrangling and contending with each other, and cultivate the principles of union and friendship in their midst.” (History of the Church, 5:498–99.)

In Moroni 7:48 it says: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ”

Find someone difficult to love and pray for them - listen for ways to show charity to that person.

Family Councils - July 24, 2016

Tina taught our lesson from the April General Conference talk "Family Councils" by Elder M. Russell Ballard.

She detailed the four kinds of councils Elder Ballard spoke about:

1. Full Family Council (both parents and all children)*
2. Executive Council (just parents)
3. Limited Council (both parents and one child)
4. One-on-one Councils (one parent and one child)

*this can also be applied to a roommate situation also

"Now, brothers and sisters, there was a time when the walls of our homes provided all the defense we needed against outside intrusions and influences. We locked the doors, closed the windows; we shut the gates; and we felt safe, secure, and protected in our own little refuge from the outside world.

Those days are now gone. The physical walls, doors, fences, and gates of our homes cannot prevent unseen invasion from the Internet, the Wi-Fi, the mobile phones, the networks. They can penetrate our homes with just a few clicks and keystrokes.

Fortunately, the Lord has provided a way to counter the invasion of negative technology that can distract us from spending quality time with each other. He has done this by providing the council system to strengthen, protect, safeguard, and nurture our most precious relationships.

Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them, and the family council can provide a time during which family members can learn to understand and love one another." ("Family Councils")

"My brothers and sisters, the irony of being parents is that we tend to get good at it after our children are grown." ("Family Councils")

• How do you gather your families together for councils?

Come Back and Feast at the Table of the Lord

Colette T. led our thoughts today from Chapter 12 in the President Howard W. Hunter manual: Come Back and Feast at the Table of the Lord.

"Reach out to the less active and realize the joy that will come to you and those you help."

A group of sisters from the ward choir sang the Primary hymn, "Little Lambs So White and Fair."

 

1. Little lambs so white and fair

Are the Shepherd's constant care.

Now he leads their tender feet

Into pastures green and sweet.

2. Now they listen and obey,

Following where he leads the way.

Heav'nly Father, may we be

Thus obedient unto thee.

Words and music: Anon.

Developing the Love of Christ: Rescuing Lost Sheep

Bishop M. led a discussion around another aspect of our ward theme, Developing the Love of Christ, by using the parable of the lost sheep.

• How are we using our time outside of church to practice True Christianity?

Matt S. spoke about a few ideas specifically toward rescuing the youth.  Find out and support their events, invite them to camp outs or your family gatherings.  Include them in what you do and discover what they are interested in.

Bishop M. then shared the many people who had helped rescue him along his way: his mom, his bishop, his home teacher, his mission president and his stake president.

• Who rescued you?

When searching for who to help the following video gives proof that they are all around and all of us.

• What are we going to do differently to rescue those in need of aid?

Farewell thoughts from Nettie - September 27, 2015

Nettie W. shared some thoughts with us before her departure for other lands. She said "you have sustained me with your love!"

She remembered visiting teaching with her great-grandmother when she was just four and remembered how nice people were and that you got treats.  Her mother was a Relief Society president when she was just 9 years old and when the Palo Alto building was the only one between San Francisco and San Jose.  She recalled singing #317 - Sweet Is the Work (Women) when they divided the Palo Alto wards in 1956.

She spent some of her married life in Fresno and when her husband passed 18 years ago, she made the choice to return to her great friends in Palo Alto.  Now she has made the choice to go to where her 2 daughters are so she can be cared for.

There were two things that Nettie wanted tell us:

1. The value of the Relief Society sisterhood here.
   She told us a few funny anecdotes of taking bread in hand to a sister's house and being met by the reply "my mom's in the shower" then a brisk wet hand grabbing the bread and saying "I was in the shower" before the door shut. A similar story was of a hectic household that she visited and when she arrived the mother grabbed her car keys and didn't return until after dark!
2. She also wanted to share that Joy is in the soul. 
   Nettie was born with a joyous spirit and feels joy in the Gospel and she knows that life is wonderful.

We will miss the joy that our dear Nettie brought to all of us but know she will spread it where ever she goes.

Keeping the Law of Chastity - August 9, 2015

Colette T. taught from Chapter 17: Keeping the Law of Chastity  in the Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson with examples she has seen in the world and teachings from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. She reminded us of the many supporting influences we can be to youth learning this principle.

"Our Heavenly Father desires nothing for us but to be happy. He tells us only those things that will bring us joy. And one of the surest principles given by God to help us find that joy is the law of chastity. I pray with all my heart that you will consider most solemnly the joyful consequences of keeping this law, and the tragic consequences of violating it."(Keeping the Law of Chastity)

"When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family. You protect yourself from the spiritual and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage. You also protect yourself from harmful diseases. Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the future." (For the Strength of Youth)

"On Being Genuine"- June 28, 2015

Rebecca S. had us thinking about our motivations when we put our best foot forward as we discussed President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's April 2015 talk "On Being Genuine."

Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me...Isaiah 28:13

• It is part of human nature to want to look our best. Why do we do this? Why do we put forth our best?

The Church is not an automobile showroom--a place to put ourselves on display so that others can admire our spirituality, capacity, or prosperity. It is more like a service center, where vehicles in need of repair come for maintenance and rehabilitation. (On Being Genuine)

I wonder if our organizational and personal goals are sometimes the modern equivalent of a Potemkin village. Do they look impressive from a distance but fail to address the real needs of our beloved fellowmen? (On Being Genuine)

• What am I putting out for others to see?

Whether your testimony is thriving and healthy or your activity in the Church more closely resembles a Potemkin village, the good news is that you can build on whatever strength you have. Here in the Church of Jesus Christ you can mature spiritually and draw closer to the Savior by applying gospel principles day by day.
With patience and persistence, even the smallest act of discipleship or the tiniest ember of belief can become a blazing bonfire of a consecrated life. In fact, that’s how most bonfires begin--as a simple spark. (On Being Genuine)

The greatest, most capable, most accomplished man who ever walked this earth was also the most humble. He performed some of His most impressive service in private moments, with only a few observers, whom He asked to “tell no man” what He had done. When someone called Him “good,” He quickly deflected the compliment, insisting that only God is truly good. Clearly the praise of the world meant nothing to Him; His single purpose was to serve His Father and “do always those things that please him.” We would do well to follow the example of our Master. (On Being Genuine)

All-Hands Relief Society Meeting - May 10, 2015

We were blessed to be in the company of almost all the sisters, as the men took over roles in the Primary and Young Women classes.

Sue introduced the meeting with some interesting statistical information and quotes from Elder Ringwood's talk from April and Sheri Dew's "Are We Not All Mothers?" talk from October 2001 General Conference.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: “Over the course of my life, I have had the opportunity to rub shoulders with some of the most competent and intelligent men and women this world has to offer. When I was younger, I was impressed by those who were educated, accomplished, successful, and applauded by the world. But over the years, I have come to the realization that I am far more impressed by those wonderful and blessed souls who are truly good and without guile.”
(Truly Good and without Guile, Elder Michael T. Ringwood, April 2015 Conference)

Today there are some who would have us believe our search for relevance can be satisfied only by obtaining position and power. Yet, thankfully, there are many who are uninfluenced by this perspective. They find relevance in seeking to be truly good and without guile. I have found them in all walks of life and in many faith traditions. And I find them in large numbers among the truly converted followers of Christ.
(Truly Good and without Guile, Elder Michael T. Ringwood, April 2015 Conference)

Since it was Mothers Day, members of the presidency shared vignettes of women who had been strong influences in their lives - sisters in the ward, seminary teachers, young women leaders and dear friends.  We were then blessed by a musical number of "Nearer, My God, to Thee" by Becca and her children.
After the meeting we enjoyed a snack prepared by the activities committee, thank you ladies!

We hope you celebrate the ways that you feel valued and relevant and take a moment to thank a woman who helped you get there.

Planning for a temple marriage - September 7, 2014

We had the Young Women join us and Wendy P. taught a lesson about the temple and attributes of a good marriage.  Though not all women will marry in this life, there are many principles in the scriptures pertaining to marriage.

And again, verily I say unto you, that whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto man. Doctrine & Covenants 49:15

When Wendy was in high school a teacher asked what to look for in a good husband.  Wendy answered, "a good kisser!" Looking back she saw how there were many more important values that a partner should have.

• What are good attributes to look for in a suitable husband?

Acceptance of who I am, a sense of humor and can laugh at himself, how a son treats his mother, being kind, one who holds the priesthood, honest, trustworthy, puts other's needs before his own.

In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.  Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-3

Even after over 30 years, marriage is still a work in progress.  Once sealed, a couple still needs to keep the commandments, live the gospel, go to church, pray and maintain their relationship.

Elder Russell M. Nelson said, "a temple marriage is not only between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God." (Celestial Marriage, October 2008 General Conference)

• What can you be doing to be temple ready?

Go to the temple often and build your relationship with God.

Thanks for a great lesson Wendy!

Lesson Summary: August 10, 2014

Tina D. gave the lesson from Chapter 19 In the World but Not of the World with emphasis on how to help the youth.

"Despite the grief President Smith experienced [at the loss of his son], he was comforted by the memory of Lewis’s good life." (Chapter 19: In the World but Not of the World)

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27

Tina has felt the comfort and peace that President Joseph Fielding Smith spoke of since she's joined the Church. Trials seemed easier, and now there's peace, often through priesthood blessings.

• Think about some challenges our youth face today when their parents are not with them?

We need to give them as many opportunities to go to Heavenly Father before they leave our homes and let them know that they love you in all circumstances.

And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mark 8:34-36

This scripture can be daunting to youth but they need to accept that they are enough, they can consecrate themselves to the Lord, and He responds with abundance.

And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High;
Doctrine & Covenants 59:9-10

"Nothing is so distressing or shocks the feelings of a refined person more than to hear some uncouth, ignorant, or filthy creature bandy around the name of Deity. Some individuals have become so profane that it appears almost impossible for them to speak two or three sentences without the emphasis--as they think--of a vulgar or blasphemous oath."
(Chapter 19: In the World but Not of the World)

It can be hard to live up to the Gospel. Basic commandments are challenging in this world, especially as a youth.
Tina related a story from a vacation to Las Vegas. After becoming frazzled protecting her boys she prayed for help and saw the promotional street teams ignore her sons she knew she needed to let go and trust the Lord will take care of them.

• What can we do to help the youth stay strong in making good choices in such situations?

Teach them your process for dealing with life's struggles, how prayer can lead to the best choice.

• What are the blessings when we do keep the commandments?

Instead of seeing the commandments as limiting and punitive, see them as "Joy guidelines."

LESSON SUMMARY JUNE 1, 2014

 WHAT RELIEF SOCIETY MEANS TO ME, taught by Sue A. 

Purposes

Gospel purpose -- Bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.  

Moses 1:39

Church purpose --

1.  Provide saving ordinances & covenants that go with them

-baptism -- Mosiah 18:8-10

  -temple covenants -- gospel of love, chastity, sacrifice & law of consecration

Relief Society purpose --

History of RS -- founded in 1842 by Sisters who wanted to do good in their community.  Support the men working on the Nauvoo Temple.  Pattern at that time was to organize ladies societies with elected leaders, bylaws, etc.  They started to do that, but Prophet Joseph Smith came and said no -- don’t be a secular society.  Organize as part of the priesthood.  Once that had been done, the church was fully organized.

RELIEF part -- giving service and charity.  GIving to others -- inside and outside the church

   Q -- How have you received service thru RS?  Or given…..

• Sister Bliss discussed how her mother and family received a lot of help from the relief society when her mother was sick
• Susan explained her overwhelming support from the relief society during her recent difficult times
• Becca J explained how she got the relief society engaged in helping a non-member neighbor

   Q -- How would you like to see our PA2 RS give service -- inside and outside the church?

• Be open with what you need
• Accept help
• Be in tune with the spirit
• Be on lookout for those who might not have service otherwise

SOCIETY part -- we need sisters and friends

Q -- How have you made/kept friends thru RS?

• Stay in touch- make an effort

Externally we are lots of different kinds of women.  At All Hands Meeting in Feb, Catherine did chart of ages/marriages/kids, etc.  We are all over the map.

I’d like to mention some other ways that we are different, and yet the same.  

We look at life differently, and yet come to the same conclusion that we want to accept Jesus Christ as our Savior and live His Gospel.

Happened in another context last week to re-read Richard Poll’s talk in PA1 Sacrament meeting in August 1967.  You can find it in several places on the internet.  

Liahona’s vs. Iron Rodders -- Some just grab the commandments and march forward.  Others have to ask and find their own way.  Both are equally faithful.  I love John Bytheway statement, “I have lots of questions, but I don’t have doubts.”    I feel that way, too because I’ve felt the spirit in my life and know that God lives.  I know that someday, somehow my questions will be answered.

This week I also listened to a Mormon Channel interview of Elder Perry and his wife by Sherri Dew.  Sister Perry said that she is more Martha than Mary.  Luke 10:38-42.   Some of us are good at sitting and holding hands and listening.  Some of us are better at making sure the meals are cooked and the laundry is done.  Both are necessary.

Pair share -- talk to a neighbor about your own attitudes and behaviors.  Do you feel like you are an iron-rod or a Liahona person?  Or do you identify more with Mary or with Martha?   Or can you see through your life how you have grown from one to another?

Share with the whole group

I come from a long line of RS Sisters.  My mother told me stories of playing on the lawn outside people’s homes when her mother made RS visits as President of Long Beach Ward and Stake RS.  I grew up watching my mother prepare to teach the Shakespeare lessons that they did in RS, and we all sewed things that were sold at the annual ward Bazaar.  I’ve become such good friends with women I have visit taught, and especially with my VT companions.  As we drive around town and share ways to serve our Sisters, we become closer.  We provide Relief and enjoy our society together.  It can’t get much better than that.

Thank you Nettie W, Katie S and Donna P for sharing your testimony about what RS means to you.

Thank you Sue for the wonderful lesson!

Lesson Summary: March 9, 2014

Katie T. led us through a meaningful discussion on the Plan of Salvation and what impact it has had on our lives based on the text of Chapter 3 in the Joseph Fielding Smith manual.

"(in response to hearing of his sister's death) We shall all meet again on the other side to enjoy the pleasures and blessings of each other’s presence, where family ties will no more be broken, but where we shall all live to receive the blessings, and realize the tender mercies of our Father in heaven." (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, Chapter 3: The Plan of Salvation)

• Think of a time when you found comfort in your testimony of the plan of salvation. How might you help a family member or friend receive such comfort?

We learn from the Pearl of Great Price, that there was a council held in heaven, when the Lord called before him the spirits of his children and presented to them a plan by which they should come down on this earth, partake of mortal life and physical bodies, pass through a probation of mortality and then go on to a higher exaltation through the resurrection which should be brought about through the atonement of his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ [see Moses 4:1–2; Abraham 3:22–28]. The thought of passing through mortality and partaking of all the vicissitudes of earth life in which they would gain experiences through suffering, pain, sorrow, temptation and affliction, as well as the pleasures of life in this mundane existence, and then, if faithful, passing on through the resurrection to eternal life in the kingdom of God, to be like him [see 1 John 3:2], filled them with the spirit of rejoicing, and they “shouted for joy.” [See Job 38:4–7.] (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, Chapter 3: The Plan of Salvation)

 

The Fall was an essential part of man’s mortal probation. … Had Adam and Eve not partaken, the great gift of mortality would not have come to them. Moreover, they would have had no posterity, and the great commandment given to them by the Lord would not have been fulfilled. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, Chapter 3: The Plan of Salvation)

• Why do you think it is important to remember this truth? What are some blessings you have received as a result of the Fall?

[Jesus Christ] died on the cross to bring us back again, to have our bodies and spirits reunited. He gave us that privilege. If we will only believe in him and keep his commandments, he died for us that we might receive a remission of our sins and not be called upon to pay penalty. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, Chapter 3: The Plan of Salvation)

And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust.  Acts 24:15

• How might you help someone understand President Smith’s declaration that “death is just as essential as birth”? How has the doctrine of resurrection influenced your life?

First, we must have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; we must accept him as the Son of God; we must put our trust in him, rely upon his word, and desire to gain the blessings which come by obedience to his laws.
Second, we must repent of our sins; we must forsake the world; we must determine in our hearts, without reservation, that we will live godly and upright lives.
Third, we must be baptized in water, under the hands of a legal administrator, who has power to bind on earth and seal in heaven; we must, through this sacred ordinance, enter into a covenant to serve the Lord and keep his commandments.
Fourth, we must receive the gift of the Holy Ghost; we must be born again; we must have sin and iniquity burned out of our souls as though by fire; we must gain a new creation by the power of the Holy Ghost.
Fifth, we must endure to the end; we must keep the commandments after baptism; we must work out our salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord; we must so live as to acquire the attributes of godliness and become the kind of people who can enjoy the glory and wonders of the celestial kingdom. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, Chapter 3: The Plan of Salvation)

And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God. Doctrine and Covenants 14:7

Moroni 7:48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.

Lesson Summary: February 2, 2014

President Hancock gave a wonderful stake presidency message. The following summary is only a summary and can never be a substitution for the wonderful presentation of President Hancock.

There were 4 topics of discussion
1) The stake presidency loves us
2) They want to tell us (the women) what they are telling the men in the stake
3) Discuss a few observations about women in the stake
4) The stake presidency wants our feedback. Q&A

1) The stake presidency loves us

• This is a topic of Infinite expanse. We are women of different backgrounds, goals and life challenges.
• The stake presidency wants to love us and support us. They acknowledge that women in our stake don't get enough help 

2) What are they telling the men?

• Understanding priorities
• First- wife, second- children, third- employer, fourth- church 
• They want all families to eat dinner together every night
• Do whatever it takes to eat dinner together every night – we believe this practice has welding power for families.
• We, of the stake presidency, don’t want ANY church activities scheduled anytime between 5-7 p.m.
• Read to children (together with wife)
• This should be a regular part of the rhythm of life, 
  that reading together becomes a regular family activity.
• Private things should be between you (couple) and the Lord 
• The way you carve out roles and responsibilities between husband and wife is a private matter.
• Stake presidency will never prescribe how it is done 
• ie: how your organize around your priorities, how you raise your children, when you conceive your children, what kind of employ you accept is completely up to you/your spouse/God.
• Both men and women are nurturers
• All men should feel like they are nurturers of children
• Men are capable of nurturing- they are encouraged to seek and acquire virtues. 
• Unity is the crowning virtue in the home
• All husbands and wife should be truly unified
• reference: John 16&17,  pray they will be one(as the father and son are one)

3) A few observations about the woman

• A lot of the women don't think they are good enough
•  The stake presidency loves us the way we are, they wish we would feel more secure
• Message: we think you are MORE than sufficient. 
• They have observed that the women seem to be more prone to insecurities
• For example: women will see something in another women.  But instead of celebrating this talent, she will see this as something as her own inadequacy.
• Message:  We wish you would feel more secure. 
• We are under stress
• Message: The way you prioritize your life is between us and lord (have confidence in life choices
• Worst place to turn is to society. 
• We don't get enough help 
• Message:  This grieves us.  We’re trying to talk to the men about this. We’re trying to work on this.
• We are prone to depression
• Depression doesn't need reason and doesn't require explanation
• Message: They understand this and are anxious to be providing love and tenderness for those battling these issues
• Reference: Elder Hollands talk in October 2013 conference 
• We should talk about this, not whisper about it
• Society tells terrible lies about women
• Suspect this is grievous to the The Lord
• Message: Stake presidency acknowledges this and doesn't want the women in stake comparing themselves to impossible standards
• Find confirmation of own worth from The Lord.  
• We make long checklists
• Checklists stress us out
• See if you can make a shorter check list
• Be strategic about how to use time
• Message: They think we do enough... Think about being instead of doing  

4) Q&A

• Q. How do you not stress out about callings? 
• A: Is this the right calling for me right now in my life?
• Cycle is completed when you confirm this calling is right for you with the Lord
• Q. How do you build spirituality in a marriage? (Deserves lesson of own) 
• A: The wonderful thing about marriage is that we’re completely incompatible --- no one has the same spiritual DNA; wonderful thing about marriage is that is a school. Have to figure out how to build. Sometime it requires recognizing the differences and celebrating them. It is so important to have dialog – if your lips are moving that’s a great sign. If the partners go silent, then something fundamental has happened and surgery is required.

The Gospel is not a club to beat ourselves with, 

but a pillow we lay our head 

    This poem reflects how the stake presidency feels about you. 

LOVE

Love bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,

Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack

From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning

If I lacked anything.

“A guest,” I answered, “Worthy to be here.”

Love said, “You shall be he.”

“I, the unkind, ungrateful?  Ah my dear,

I cannot look on Thee.”

Love took my hand, and smiling, did reply,

“Who made the eyes but I?”

“Truth, Lord, but I have marred them; let my shame

Go where it doth deserve.”

“And know you not,” says Love, “who bore the blame?”

“My dear, then I will serve.”

“You must sit down,” says Love, “and taste my meat.”

So I did sit and eat.

George Herbert

1593-1633