Daughters of God- March 12

Emilee P. taught our lesson this week from Chapter 5 of the Gordon B. Hinckley manual, "Daughters of God."

We discussed qualities we see in woman we admire. These included:
-vision
-work ethic
-loyalty
-intuition
-perseverance
-long suffering
-empathetic
-sense of humor
-gives compliments


Gordon B. Hinckley said, "You are very precious, each of you. You occupy a high and sacred place in the eternal plan of God, our Father in Heaven. You are His daughters, precious to Him, loved by Him, and very important to Him. His grand design cannot succeed without you."

Why is it so important in the decisions we make daily to know we are daughters of God?
        -He needs the qualities we admire in other woman to move the kingdom forward and bless others. 

Gordon B. Hinckley also encouraged: 
"In very large measure each of us holds the key to the blessings of the Almighty upon us. If we wish the blessing, we must pay the price. A part of that price lies in being faithful. Faithful to what? Faithful to ourselves, to the very best that is within us. No woman can afford to demean herself, to belittle herself, to downgrade her abilities or her capacities. Let each be faithful to the great, divine attributes that are within her."

How can we be faithful to ourselves?  Some ideas shared:
-Don't beat yourself up and be too hard on yourself
-Be grateful and show gratitude
-Everyone has value and something to offer
-Keep our eye on what's most important
-We can honor God by doing our best

We also discussed council given to Emma Smith in Doctrine and Covenants 25 that can be likened unto our circumstances and attitudes today. Some points of discussion included:
-keeping journals
-laying aside things of this world
-keeping covenants
-being happy despite worries

How has Relief Society been a source of immeasurable blessings for you?
-Many sisters were able to share how others had come to their aid through helping hands, meals, a listening ear, and loving support.

Parenting Series Notes 3/7: The Opposite of Spoiled - Teaching kids about work and money

Discussion:

We want kids to leave the house hard working who know how to use money and how to take care of themselves. Make a plan!

Whatever your plan is, the most important thing is that you're trying something. Kids need experiences learning the value of money, saving, and being generous. Your plan may need to be altered depending on the child, circumstances, and when you test what is and isn't working.

What do you want your children to know about work when they leave home?

Examples:

• Money doesn't grow on trees.
• Work is part of life and necessary.
• Rewards are linked to how hard you work. 
• It feels good to do a job well. 
• We value things that we work hard to get. 
• Everyone has to work.

When a child was asked about how he felt about the way his parents taught him finances, he was very grateful they had done something because he was empowered.

Thought questions: 

• What do your current practices with housework and chores teach your children about work?
• What do you want your children to understand about money when they leave home?
• What do you think your children currently understand about money? What is your current system teaching about the value of money, how money can be earned, etc.?

When making your plan, think about who pays for what?

• What kinds of things do you feel you should provide for your children?
• What kinds of things do you think your children currently need to earn and pay for themselves? (clothing, birthday gifts, toys, movie tickets, extracurricular activities, sharing cost of family vacation)
• When kids are older and can babysit and do other jobs in the community, does that change what you can expect them to pay for?
• Do you plan to provide a car, cell phone? What kind? How much will child pay for car insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.?

Family Work Assessment

• How do you train your children to do family work properly?
• How do you want to track completed work and make sure children know what is expected of them?
• What can you do to make work fun in your home and a relationship building activity?

How Your Children Get Money

• How will your children get the money they need to cover what you're requiring them to pay for?
• How much money should children earn or receive each week? How will you decide the amounts for different ages?
• How and when will children receive money they've earned? How will you track it? When will they be paid?
• will it be actual or virtual money?
• At what age or stage will they open up a bank account?
• Will you pay interest?
• How do you help guide children on how money is spent? How will you help them learn about saving?

Provide ways to get money:

• allowance/share of family budget
• earned income 

Purpose of your family economy

• set up a micro economy in your home that teaches real world economic principles in a safe environment
• give children practice handling money- small mistakes now may prevent big mistakes later
• Mistakes are the best teachers
• "Learn while they're under your roof and not in your basement!" - Katherine 
• give children a sense of ownership for their spending choices and help them lose the feeling of entitlement
• Let kids make decisions about money now to make them more prepared. Having ownership over money now makes them feel less entitled now and later.
• Give kids a reason to want/need money. 
• Give your kids an idea early about what they will be required to pay for (college, mission)

Things to Remember:

• Many of these "teaching moments" (i.e. cleaning the house as a family, doing chores, helping kids manage money) can be stressful and contentious and it is easy to give up. We need to remember we are teaching our children to be adults and we are teaching the value of work. BE CONSISTENT with the plan you make.
• Be a team! Show empathy when mistakes are made but have kids accept consequences. 
• Example: daughter got in a fender bender and made the decision to pay for the damager herself because it was her own mistake. She felt no anger at her parents because her parents showed empathy. They were a team.
• Example: son had earned money for his own bike. He forgot to lock it up at school and came home sad because it was gone. Luckily the custodian had locked it up in his closet and son got his bike back. However, he learned to take much better care of the bike and always lock it up.

References:

Entitlement Trap by Richard Eyre and Linda Eyre

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber

Faith is Not Blind - March 5, 2017

Jen P. taught the lesson this week on Faith based on the devotional given by Elder and Sister Hafen at BYU Hawaii January 24, 2017. You can find the devotional here https://devotional.byuh.edu/media170124.

Jen started off the lesson by sharing this quote:

“We are in the school and keep learning, and we do not expect to cease learning while we live on earth; and when we pass through the veil, we expect still to continue to learn and increase our fund of information. That may appear a strange idea to some; but it is for the plain and simple reason that we are not capacitated to receive all knowledge at once. We must therefore receive a little here and a little there.

He gives a little to his humble followers today, and if they improve upon it, tomorrow he will give them a little more, and the next day a little more. He does not add to that which they do not improve upon, but they are required to continually improve upon the knowledge they already possess, and thus obtain a store of wisdom.” Preparing for Eternal Progression Teachings of Presidents of the church: Brigham Young, (1997), 85-91, chapter 13.

We went through a simple, personal exercise of writing down some questions we have had about the gospel or church and discussed how some questions can really shake faith. There is comfort and peace when are certain about things. Conversely, uncertainty is uncomfortable but it is also a way for us to seek knowledge. God does not intend for us to know everything now. Knowledge is constantly changing over time. What people knew 2000 years ago was not the only information ever to be learned.

Here is the summary of the lesson points:

1. We need to learn how to face uncomfortable realities in order to grow. Therefore, the Lord not only comforts the afflicted; sometimes He afflicts the comfortable...If we don’t grapple with the frustration that comes from facing bravely the uncertainties we encounter, we will lack spiritual maturity.
2. At level three we are not just optimists and not just pessimists. We are open-minded believers who know that history and life are not always clear-cut and tidy, but our desire is to keep learning.
3. The choice to be believing at this level is very different from mere blind obedience. It is, rather, a knowing and loving kind of obedience. And instead of asking us to put aside the tools of an educated critical mind, this third level invites us to use those tools to make the status quo better, not just to criticize it.
4. When our idealism has been rattled by abrupt confrontations with realism, our attitude about what has happened is more important than what has happened. Elder Maxwell said that doubting” can either soften or harden hearts, depending on [our] supply of meekness.” Meekness, a softness of heart, keeps the seed of faith alive. When we let adversity harden our hearts, we choke the seed. But if we meekly retain our desire to believe--the attitude that first activated our experiment with the word--our believing heart lets the seed thrive. So when we are jolted by hard experiences, we have a choice. We can either close our hearts to God in bitterness or open our hearts to Him in contrition. By choosing to have a contrite spirit, we bring our whole souls to God and give him something to work with.
5. “I would not give a fig for the simplicity [on] this side of complexity. But I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.”
6. The simplicity on this side of complexity asks very little of us. The simplicity on the other side of complexity asks everything of us. That’s why Holmes would give his life for it. T.S. Eliot called this, “A condition of complete simplicity/ (Costing not less than everything).”
7. Brothers and sisters, as we make our way through our complexities, if we don’t press forward by giving the Lord and His Church the benefit of our doubts and uncertainties, it won’t be long until we are unwilling to go down the road of faith and sacrifice at all--the only road that leads to the deep simplicity of wisdom and light. Complexity is valuable, even essential. But those who get stuck there will never know the simple yet profound joy of the Saints. “For ye receive no witness until after the trail of your faith.” Our tunnels of ambiguity are there to teach us, not to torment us. And there is light at the end of those tunnels; the Light and Life of the world. Faith is not blind. On the contrary, it is by faith that we consciously choose to grow through the complexity that lets us see with our eyes and our hearts wide open.